By getting married you are not just getting a wife, you are getting your whole world. From now until the rest of your days your wife will be your partner, your companion, and your best friend.

She will share your moments, your days, and your years. She will share your joys and sorrows, your successes and failures, your dreams and your fears. When you are ill, she will take the best care of you; when you need help, she will do all she can for you.

When you have a secret, she will keep it; when you need advice, she will give you the best advice. She will always be with you: when you wake up in the morning the first thing your eyes will see will be hers; during the day, she will be with you, if for a moment she is not with you by her physical body, she will be thinking of you, praying for you with all her heart, mind, and soul; when you go to sleep at night, the last thing your eyes will see will be her; and when you are asleep you will still see her in your dreams. In short, she will be your whole world and you will be her whole world.

The best description that I personally have ever read describing the closeness of the spouses to each other is the Qur’anic verse which says: “they are your garments and you are their garments” (Surah Al Baqarah 2:187).

Indeed, spouses are like garments to each other because they provide one another with the protection, the comfort, the cover, the support, and the adornment that garments provide to humans. Just imagine a journey in the winter of Alaska without garments! Our spouses provide us with the same level of comfort, protection, cover, and support in the journey of our lives on this earth as garments would do in the Alaskan journey.

The relationship between the spouses is the most amazing of all human relations: the amount of love and affection, intimacy and closeness, mercy and compassion, peace and tranquillity that fills the hearts of the spouses is simply inexplicable. The only rational explanation for these most amazing of all human feelings is that: it is an act of Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala, “And Allah has made for you Mates (and Companions) of your own nature …” (Surah Al Nahl 16:72)
Only our Almighty Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala in His Infinite Power, Boundless Mercy, and Great Wisdom can create and ingrain these amazing and blessed feelings in the hearts of the spouses. In fact Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala is reminding those who search for His signs in the universe that these feelings in the hearts of the spouses are among the signs that should guide humans to His existence as He says in the Qur’an, “And among His signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves that you may dwell in tranquillity with them and He has put love and mercy between your hearts: verily in that are signs for those who reflect.” (Surah Al Rum 30:21)

But Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala knows that the human heart is not a static entity, it is sometimes weak and at times dynamic. Feelings can and do change with time. Love may wither and fade away. The marital bond might weaken if not properly cared for. Happiness in marriage cannot be taken for granted; continuous happiness requires constant giving from both sides. For the tree of marital love to remain alive and keep growing, the soil has to be sustained, maintained, watered and nurtured.

Remember that our Prophet Muhammad Salallaahu ‘aliahi wa’sallaam had found the time to go out to the desert and race with his wife Aisha. She out ran him but later after she had gained some weight, he out ran her.

Remember that you will be rewarded by Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala for any emotions you show to your wife as the Prophet Salallaahu ‘aliahi wa’sallaam said “one would be rewarded for anything that he does seeking the pleasure of Allah even the food that he puts in the mouth of his wife.”

Never underestimate the importance of seemingly little things as putting food in your wife’s mouth, opening the car’s door for her, etc. Remember that the Prophet Salallaahu ‘aliahi wa’sallaam used to extend his knee to his wife to assist her up to ride the camel.

Try to always find some time for both of you to pray together. Strengthening the bond between you and Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala is the best guarantee that your own marital bond would always remain strong. Having peace with Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala will always result in having more peace at home.

Remember that the Prophet Salallaahu ‘aliahi wa’sallaam gave glad tidings for those couples who wake up at night to pray together. The Prophet Salallaahu ‘aliahi wa’sallaam even urged the spouse who rises up first to wake the other spouse up even by throwing cold water on his/her face.

Always try your best to be good to your wife by words and by deeds. Talk to her, smile to her, seek her advice, ask for her opinion, spend quality time with her and always remember that the Prophet Salallaahu ‘aliahi wa’sallaam said “the best of you are those who are best to their wives.”

Finally, it is common that spouses vow to love and honor their spouses until death do them part. I do believe that this vow is good or even great, but not enough! It is not enough that you love your wife. You have to love what she loves as well. Her family, her loved ones must also become your loved ones. Don’t be like my colleague who was unhappy about his wife’s parents coming to visit for few weeks. He candidly said to her “I don’t like your parents.” Naturally, she angrily looked at him straight in the eye and said “I don’t like yours either”… Also, it is not enough that you love her until death do you part. Love should never end and we do believe there is life after death where those who did righteousness in this world will be joined by their spouses (Surah Al Zukhruf 43:70) and offsprings.

The best example in this regard is the Prophet Salallaahu ‘aliahi wa’sallaam whose love for Khadija, his wife of 25 years extended to include all those she loved and continued even after her death. It was many years after her death and he never forgot her and whenever a goat was slaughtered in his house he would send portions of it to Khadija’s family and friends and whenever he felt that the visitor at the door might be Khadija’s sister Hala, he would pray saying “O Allah let it be Hala.”

This is not entirely my work. Half of the credit goes to my friend, you may also notice this article is published in Islamic websites anonymously.

I loved it so much!

Honey, I’m coming home., I dont have one yet!

All the best getting a perfect soul mate for the readers of this article.

we shall now start reviewing what are those needed tools for effective conversation

Begin by knowing that the people you’re talking to mostly want to talk about themselves.

They want to talk about their lives, their tastes, their views. To the extent that you let them do that, you facilitate conversation and good feeling.
A simple way to begin a conversation is to ask a person the most basic question: “How are you today?” The person will usually give a cursory answer such as, “I’m fine. How are you?” If your conversation partner goes off on a long tangent about what she had to eat that morning, what she bought that afternoon, and how her mother treated her that evening, you’re warned to simply terminate the conversation at once and go on to the next person. Otherwise, you might continue by asking, “Where are you from?” This usually allows for the next rule of conversation:

Establish common ground

For example, if your conversation partner is from Sarawak (a region of Malaysia), talk about how often you’ve been to Sarawak and how beautiful it is there. If you’ve never been to Sarawak, talk about how you’ve heard it’s beautiful there and how much you’ve always wanted to visit. This helps to establish the next rule:

Say kind, generous things to your conversation partner

Talk about how beautiful his home area is. Talk about how you have seen the mountains there and how fabulous they are. Talk about how bracing the air there is.
Or, if you can’t think of anything to say about the person’s home, offer compliments about something else. Talk about how nice her hair looks or how nice his suit is. People like to be complimented. If they don’t like to be complimented, they’re not well in the head and you ought to leave them well enough alone. If they react negatively to compliments, again, move on to the next topic or the next person.

Keep your comments brief.

Don’t respond to a question about where you’re from with a long, detailed answer about all the places you’ve ever been. Talk about how you are that day in a short, punchy way. Answer in detail only if your partner asks in detail. You know how you don’t like to be bored by long answers? Everyone else on the planet feels the same way. Brevity is a good way to make friends. You never want to be so brief as to be rude, but again, brief is good.

Get back on common ground again as soon as you can.

Ask what your colleague or neighbor does for a living. If he or she does anything at all, say how interesting that is. Ask for an explanation of what it is if you don’t understand.
Start by asking what job he is holding? If he is a highly paid employee in a big firm like Ibm, Intel or Microsoft, warm him up a bit asking to explain how does it feel to work for these firms? People want to talk about their lives, and you oblige them, make them like you, and learn from them by allowing them to talk. This is especially true in job interviews. You want to allow your interviewer to do a big chunk of the talking. In so doing, you learn where to make your points, where to keep quiet, and how to explain yourself so you fit into the interviewer’s world.

Don’t brag unless you do it in a funny way.

Don’t tell people how much money you make. Don’t tell people how cool you are., how greater your cgpa is No one likes a braggart. No one likes to feel small compared with anyone else.Just be modest about your achievements. Even if the person you’re talking to brags, don’t brag yourself.

Do not talk about religion unless you are forced

You’re very likely to make enemies and not at all likely to make friends if you bring up religion. Most people have different views about religion from yours, and you can scarcely conceive of a better way to alienate people than trying to press your religious views on them.

Discuss current issues in genial, friendly way
Don’t start fights about Hillary Clinton or George Bush or anyone else. Just smile and laugh about it, and if the person you’re talking to insists on saying provocative things, change the subject.If the person persists, say you have work to do and, with a smile, go on to something else.

Make whatever points you need to make quickly, and then leave.

Don’t feel your time and your conversation partner’s time have no value. Time is everything in life, and you oblige people by saving their time. In a job interview, for example, make whatever points — always complimentary — you care to make, answer questions, and then leave. But leave with a smile and a firm handshake. You’d be amazed at how many people don’t know any of these rules. If you do, you’re way ahead of the game.

I had reviewed several books crammed with tips on effective communication in the organization, and it helped me jotting down ideas and finally I could able to post it on my blog. My effort will be substantive if any reader apply these tips to their daily livings and if it works, buy me a Drink (NON ALCOHOLIC)!!!!!

please do comment and further your thoughts! cheers

How do you find blogging here? I suppose its a kind of hybrid feeling of fun and thrill.

Well I started to blog primarily in “blogspot” run by google. Seriously I did not like it there for some definite reasons, so I moved here hoping to experience something interestingly new. I love writing. To me Writing is fun and love.

My subjects are of different kinds. I am more interested to write about inspiring others. I count myself as a creative writer. I believe With my style of writing I can make you dance, cry, smile, and feel you sex; DEEEEEEEEEP SEX. lol

In light and truth,

Saint